Tuesday, February 26, 2008

am i really....not important at all?

u invited me to your convo, and im going to meet your family that day. you let me feel happy and appreciate what you did. but why now you tell me that you forget to buy the guest ticket? why you want to book it lately? how important am i to u actually?

my ex bf also asked me go his convo b4 this when i was his gf. he tell me how important i am to him. that time i said im not confirm whether i can attend or anot, he told me, convo is a very important day in one's life. so he hope that everyone that is important to him will attend and be there. if im not going, his convo will be meaningless.

now u even forgot to book my ticket..means i dont need to go for your convo, i dont need to meet your parents..is it what u want? now im doubting..how important am i to you. maybe my attendance is not so important to you. no matter im there or not, no different.

Friday, February 22, 2008

i nvr know that...inside my heart...there's a.......

i nvr know that inside my heart there's is a scar....nvr...

my best friend broke with her bf 2day..she is so sad n confused...so worry about a lot of thing.. they are so sweet before this...as i seen...but now, ends up like this, which is out if predicted.

when i was talking to her, comforting her...she tell me so much about her bf, what he did, what he said...n what i get is...what the guy said is exactly same as what my ex told me when we broke 3 years ago.

she made me back to 3 years ago...when i was so sweet with my ex, love him ver much... fall with him so deep. i stil remember the last time we been together, he say he loves me.. but the next day, he told me we are from the different world, wana break up. i was just, get shocked n my tears dropped. the nite i cant sleep too...same as my best fren now. i message him, asked him a lot of question. i asked for reasons, ask whether we have chance in future..he asked me to accept the reality, n never tell me the real reason.after that...he..disappeared in my life, never reply my messages, never receive my calls. he was so cruel to me. in the half year after the broken relationship,i cried every night. all he gave me, he made it as a dream, as i wake up, everything gone. he dont even let me keep it as memory..he disappeared.

3years passes, now i have a very good boy friend. my ex find me b4 this, n said something like he didnt think to totally let go me b4 this...i know he is a liar, he broke up with me due to another girl. but i thought i already forgive, already forget, so i treat him as a friend.

2day i realise, he left me a scar in my heart. when i listened to my best friend's sad story, i think of him, and...my tears dropped again. i never know why is this happen. i can't understand. im clear that im now only love my boy friend, and i forget him at all, even he say a lot to me i also treat him as a very normal friend. sometimes i even ignore him. why is it my tears dropped when i mentioned about him?

thats the only reason i think...he hurted me too deep, he changed me, left me a deep scar that will never cure. but i think, i should thank him. he made me learned a lot. i know to dress up nicely cause i know guys will never love a messy lazy girl. i appreciate what he taught me, i know to choose boy friend now, and im very careful to all guys i met.

the scar u left to me, will be same as what u gave me, i wont treat it as memory, since u dont give me any memory, it is just a dream for me. im now wake up, n u, with the scar, GET LOST IN MY LIFE.